per·se·ver·ance

A very good Yogi, Massage Therapist, Reiki Healer, Reflexologist, Cranial-Sacral Goddess friend of mine is fond of quoting old Chinese proverbs saying, “if, and only when, you are ready the right teacher will be presented to you.” My quandary is often I find that I am presented with teachers, and consequently their lessons, that I am not ready to learn. The universe thereby responding by presenting the lesson again and again in some sort of karmic Groundhogs' Day forcing me to re-live similar situations with the same results over and over.

per·se·ver·ance [pur-suh-veer-uhns] 

noun

1. Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

2. Continuance in a state of grace to the end.

It would be fair if you were to say that I was a runaway. I have been known to, without much warning, hightail it out of there, and run from any given perceivable to me difficult situation, be it a less than fabulous job, not-so-great relationship, home, etc. You name it, I have quit it.

When I first met my husband 15 years ago I had been in just such a situation where everything that could have, did go wrong; people died, I was shot at, I was homeless (or would have been had it not been for the beautiful angel who let me sleep on her couch), and I was out of money. I had told him that I was buggin' out and goin' home, explaining that there was a very fine line between the Gods testing you, and the Gods sending you clear as a neon sign message that you have made the wrong f*cking choice somewhere along the line and it is time to turn the hell back.

And so my lesson has always been: how do you know where that line is? How do you know the difference between a situation that requires perseverance and the realization that as the Turkish would say “no matter how far you have gone down the wrong road, turn back.”

It is interesting to me that as I looked up the definition of the the word for the purpose of writing this post a second definition was offered. Perhaps I have been asking the wrong question? Perhaps whether or not I can endure is not in question, but maybe the lesson that I have been missing is not just getting through it, but continuance in a state of grace until the end...

I would like to thank my husband for not letting me run away 15 years ago, and if you ever find yourself in the lush mountain top town of Monteverde in Costa Rica do yourself a favor and look up the amazing Karen Gordon at Revive Healing Arts Studio (http://www.facebook.com/Revive.KarenGordon).