Seriously!?

I have always looked like my mothers daughter, or at least I would have if she looked old enough to be my mother, that is to say that my mother and I have always been the kind of mother-daughter duo that often is mistaken for sisters.

I never liked being young. I couldn't wait to be old enough to be taken seriously. I was so happy to turn 30 that for the whole year, starting in January of my 30^th birthday, when asked I would say, “I'll be 30 this year (my birthday is in December). I am proud of my crows feet and point out my 3 gray hairs as bragging rights.

However lately I find that I look less and less like my mother's daughter, and more and more like my mother. My husbands (both my current and the former) have assured me that they did the check-out-the-mom-to-see-how-she-will-age-before-you-marry-her test and that I have nothing to be worried about. My mother was carded on her 40^th birthday and as I approach 35 she still doesn't look old enough to be my mom.

I know that I am no longer young when I hear that my favorite song from high school is 20 years old and that the boy that was 5 when I dated his father just went away to college.

The funny thing is that the older I get, the more I wish people would stop taking me so damn seriously!

Zookeeper

So I got a new job. I start today and I am super excited and a little nervous too. You see, I got a management position, and well the last time I was a manager I had a nervous breakdown that ended my life as I knew it. To be fair there were a few other major contributing factors that lead to the breaking down and it was not the soul responsibility of my title.

However, that being said I would like to take this opportunity to be creative with the moniker that will soon grace my business cards and determine how I sign my emails.

man·ag·er

  [man-i-jer]

noun

1.
a person who has control or direction of an institution,business, etc., or of a part, division, or phase of it.

2.
a person who manages: the manager of our track team.

3.
a person who controls and manipulates resources and expenditures, as of a household.

Sounds like a real bitch, right? I definitely don't want that, so how about: Administrator? Turns out that means one who manages, so no real improvement there.

Other synonyms include: boss, controller, conductor, director, executive, governor, handler, head, head person, officer, official, organizer, overseer, producer, proprietor, slave driver, straw boss, superintendent, supervisor, zookeeper...

zookeeper sounds interesting but perhaps a bit misleading, although there is a lot of talk of animals in a yoga studio: up dog, down dog, pigeon, cat, cow, etc... so... maybe, but no.

How about:

li·ai·son

noun,

1.
the contact or connection maintained in order to ensure concerted action, cooperation, etc.

2.
a person who initiates and maintains contact or connection.

Yeah, that sounds nice. Yoga Studio Liaison... wish me luck!

Anger Sucks

There have been a lot of discussions lately with in my inner circles about anger; and amongst fellow yoga teachers and every other elephant journal article I've read recently the consensus is that anger is good. I would like to go on record as saying that I emphatically disagree! Anger sucks.

Anger hurts us not only emotionally but physically, as our bodies experience that intense negative emotion all of that energy is stored with in our cells transforming the way we feel and function. I always know when I am angry because of the instant physical effect it has on me. My whole left shoulder and arm starts to hurt and I can see myself through my mind's eye tucking with in myself like a injured bird bringing my wing in close to my body. As a massage therapist I see the affects of emotions on the body in my clients and nothing is more damaging than anger.

Anger hurts not only ourselves but those around us. Rarely are those responsible for our wrath the ones that we direct it to. How often have you snapped at your spouse, partner, kids, Starbucks barista or the old dude in the jalopy holding up traffic in front of you because you were angry at your boss, yoga teacher, lost word doc or the pile of dishes in the sink?

The biggest reason that anger is so destructive is that it isn't EVEN REAL! Anger is the moat, brick wall, and army of defense mechanisms that we create to keep us from feeling the true emotion that an infuriating person or event invokes. Very often that real emotion is fear, and fear, not surprisingly is, well, scary. So we hide from our fear behind anger.

The argument for the benefits of anger have been the valuable tool that it can be for learning something about ourselves. The real tool might be discovering what it is that you are so afraid of, and then upon realizing that often times fear is caused by an actor in a costume and mask playing make-believe at the fun house of horrors hiding behind the wacky mirror and jumping out at just the right moment to make you jump and scream in mock horror until you laugh because the fear, well, it isn't real either.

The enemy is fear. We think it is hate; but, it is fear. ~ Gandhi

Update Posted 10/6/12

Because, I'm Worth It!

I used to be a NPC/IFBB Fitness Competitor, that is to say, I used to do really mean things to my body all for the sake of getting a panel of judges to think that I was more fit than the girl standing next to me. I have run miles on a torn hamstring, performed one-armed push-ups on a torn rotator cuff, denied myself water for days, carbs for weeks, taken diuretics prescribed to someone else and number of other supplements, enhancers and of course pain killers just to get though it all. I have gotten up before dawn, and stayed up passed midnight just to train. I once even had to pass through a sobriety check point on the way home from the gym after a late training session; it must have been time for the bars to close, the only bars I had seen that night had weights on them and started at 45lbs. I have dieted to the point of loosing my menstrual cycle (imagine my surprise when I found myself pregnant during one such phase!) and then during the off season I bulked up, just to diet down again.

I stopped competing, for obvious reasons, when I was pregnant with my daughter and then for other reasons after she was born. I have not “worked out” or “dieted” in five years. I still eat pretty clean but I don't beat myself up over ice cream. I practice yoga regularly and I run when I feel like it, which isn't very often, I go on long bike rides with my husband and short ones by myself. I don't think I can do a one-arm push up anymore but I can do side crow. All and all I would say that I am healthier now then I ever was as a spokes person for exercise and nutrition.

So why can't I get over the guilt?

I hurt my foot showing off in a yoga class about six or eight weeks ago. Feet and toe injuries are kinda like rib injuries, you can't do anything for them but wait it out, and as I discussed in an earlier post, patience is no friend of mine. So the healing process is taking longer than it should. It feels fine most of the time, but if I practice yoga it throbs for days, running is out of the question and when I wore heels to a dress fancy event the other day I almost died for fashion. And so, I have been taking a needed/deserved break from anything that involves standing. It's been two days... and I have enough guilt to start my own religion.

Why do we do this to ourselves? Why do we not take the care we deserve, the help we need, the rest we require? To whose standard am I trying to live up to? There is no panel of judges in my life. No point system, no list of required skills I must perform in order to prove myself worthy. Julia Roberts in the film adaptation of Liz Gilbert's book Eat, Pray, Love said that she was thru with the guilt and she was just going to buy a bigger pair of jeans! And as soon as my foot feels up to a walk through the mall I just might have to do that! In the mean time, I will have to make like a L’Oreal commercial and affirm that “I'm worth it”.

With the Power of Thought... WE CAN CHANGE THE WORLD

I’m a girl so naturally I cry, a lot. I cry about spilled milk, water under the bridge, bad hair cuts, SPCA commercials, savasana, Disney films, etc... Add a glass of wine to this mix and I am a veritable pile of emotional mush.

It is for this reason that I don't watch the news. They say that if you are not pissed off, then you are not paying attention. And this is true. I choose to not live my life in a state of pissed off so purposely I remain in my state of ignorance is bliss. This is not to say that I am dumb, or uniformed. I gather information regarding relevant current events from a number of unbiased and reputable sources and of course, because sometimes you have to laugh about it so you don't cry about it, the Daily Show with John Stewart. But I do not watch the local tally of how many people killed each other in my neighborhood, or accounts of local idiots who were surprised to find their cars up trees after running a red light while text messaging their ex for a drunk booty call (this actually recently happened in my neighborhood).

This morning however the news found me. During the commercial break of my favorite cooking show a preview for the evening news aired telling of a story about a woman who killed first her two young boys and then herself. Not a common story but certainly not an unusual one. This story hit me, and it hit me hard. I was instantly teary and the well of emotion rose and gained strength as the words of the newscaster echoed in my mind for the next few moments. I found myself sobbing with grief over people I had never met, and the state of the world today.

I have recently heard of a study that was done in Washington DC, about the power that thoughts have. A group of a hundred people gathered and meditated on positive thoughts every day for a month. The amazing results of this experiment was that with in that month the crime rate in Washington DC went down by 20%, in the month immediately after the crime rate instantly rose back to the higher rate. I would like to ask that everyone focus on positive thoughts. Stop watching TV aimed at making you angry, stop paying attention to all that is negative and instead focus on the blessings in your life. Count them one by one each moment of each day. Be grateful for the small things and give no attention to that which is not positive. Perhaps if enough of us meditate on positive thoughts we can change the world.

Balance and Blessings

Mabon, or the Autumn Equinox, reminds us to find peace in balance and to count our blessings. I have always loved the Spring Equinox above all other holy days, for I grew up in a place where longer days were a thing to rejoice!

In the Pacific Northwest during the fall and winter months the sun can go down as early as 4pm, add to that the fact that the sun never really comes out at all and you have a recipe for a serious vitamin D deficiency also known as Seasonal Effective Disorder. Living in the dark can make you feel dark and the coming of spring always gave me a overwhelming feeling of relief.

However, for the last few years I have been living in either a desert (Phoenix has summer temperatures up to 120*) or in the sub-tropics (Costa Rica and Florida where it's not the heat it's the humidity, but it's still pretty freakin' hot, so it's the oppressive heat!). And so I find myself with an overwhelming feeling of relief for the coming of fall.

Equal parts night and day, dark and light, spring and fall, there is balance in the universe and so there shall be in my life!  

I am grateful for the summer rain that has made my world juicy with life.

I am grateful for the warm sun's rays which have kissed my skin with a healthy glow.

I am grateful for the heat that drove us into the healing salt water bath of the Gulf waters.

I am grateful for the summer storms that lit up the sky with awe inspiring light displays.

I am grateful for the safe shelter (aka: central air conditioning unit) of my home!

Metta: a Practice in Loving-Kindness

Metta is a word that means loving-kindness. When we practice Metta we bring loving-kindness into our lives and the lives of others. The following is a Metta meditation that I like to do either as a quiet seated meditation or along with my yoga practice.

Think of people that you are close to, loved ones, family, friends... as you picture each one look them in the eyes and say, “I wish you peace, joy and happiness”.

Think of people with whom you have a casual acquaintance, co-workers, neighbors, yoga teachers... as you picture each one look them in the eyes and say, “I wish you peace, joy and happiness”.

If you want others to be happy, practice compassion. Breath in their love for you, breath out your love for them.

Now think of people for whom you have dis-like or have had a temporary misunderstanding with... as you picture them, look them in the eyes and say, “I wish you peace, joy and happiness. I have no ill thoughts or feelings toward you and I know that you have no ill thoughts or feelings toward me”.

If YOU want to be happy, practice compassion. Breath in their forgiveness of you, breath out your forgiveness of them.

Think of all the people in the world, those you have not yet had the pleasure of meeting... as you picture the worlds population, those with similar and different views from you on politics, religion, money... picture each person on earth as if they were a reflection of you. Look at yourself with in that reflection and say, “I wish you peace, joy and happiness”.

Look at yourself, see yourself as you are today, in this moment. Say to yourself, “I wish you peace, joy and happiness”. Repeat the word “metta” to yourself for as long as you need.

Remember to carry this feeling of loving-kindness with you as you go out into the world today.

Diet Advice for Your Soul

Many years ago I worked as a nutrition counselor. My clients were those wanting to learn healthy eating habits in order to loose weight. When they would come to me with their craving dilemmas I frequently gave the following two pieces of advice: when a craving for (insert bad for you food here) hits you, #1. go brush your teeth. It is unlikely that you will still want the taste for (above craving) when your mouth is minty fresh. We are all familiar with the bad combination of a freshly clean mouth and orange juice! #2. if #1 fails, follow up with a cup of tea, not only can the preparation of a cup of tea distract you from your boredom (big-time contributor to food cravings), but filling your belly with hot tea can make you feel as full and nourished as if you had had a meal there-by eliminating the need for a snack.

Recently I have found that these two bits of wisdom can be transferred to dealing with unhealthy thoughts.

When you are faced with brooding thoughts of (insert negative bad-for-you feelings here) go wash your face, take a shower or better yet a candle lit bubble bath. This cleansing act can help refresh your mind by literally washing away the negative energy. And, I am pretty sure it is scientificly impossible to be in a bad mood while you are soaking in sweet smelling suds.

For super duper thunder clouds of (above thoughts) for which the above alone cannot solve, drink tea. Not only are there many herbal tea remedies for boosting a bad mood (ie: St. John's Wart) but tea, and the making there of, in and of itself, can be very uplifting. There is no trouble so great or grave that cannot be much diminished by a nice cup of tea. ~Bernard-Paul Heroux.  

Red Doughnuts

INTRODUCTION TO MIRACLES:

This is a course in miracles. It is a required course. Only the time you take it is voluntary. Free will does not mean that you can establish the curriculum. It means only that you may elect what you want to take at a given time...

I have been studying the Course in Miracles, or rather I have been listening to the CRASH Course in Miracles pod-casts hosted by my beloved most favorite yoga teacher in the whole wide world, Philip Urso (http://www.liveloveteach.com/philip), because, as I disclosed in an earlier post, I have not quite developed a strong enough relationship with patience to read through the 500+ pages and lessons; and this is what I have learned so far: I have issues with the word god, and my “red doughnut” is delicious and cozy.

First my issues with god. Even though my god is that bright shiny thing in the sky that gives us light, warmth, life and protection from all the scary night predators, when someone says the word god I can not help but think of that imaginary white haired bearded man in the sky and I cringe inwardly at the audacity of all that he implies. I do not have any tragic fear inspiring memories associated with the church. For all intents and purposes I grew up rather agnosticly. The reasons for the involuntary flinch that occurs in me each time I hear it uttered may require some investigation... more on that later.

Right now, I am eating doughnuts. Delicious, warm and soft, food that hugs you, red doughnuts of fear. I mean really, when life gives you doughnuts the only thing that you can do is eat through them, binging on all that greed, lust, suffering, rage and ego until you are so engorged with your own sense of self that the only thing left to do is purge. Stick your finger down your proverbial throat and face the truth. None of that is real. The only thing that is real is love. When you eat through to the other side of the barrier you might even realize that not even your indulgence caused stomach ache is real and all that is left is, well, god... also known as joy, love, spirit, trust, forgiving, peace, wholeness, stillness, knowledge, healing, etc...  

* Photo is from Philip Urso's Crash Course in Miracles which can be hear on iTunes as well as his live recorded yoga classes (my favorite is the floating turds class, don't ask, just listen!)

*PS I did not ask permission to use his photo or his name so I hope he doesn't mind!

per·se·ver·ance

A very good Yogi, Massage Therapist, Reiki Healer, Reflexologist, Cranial-Sacral Goddess friend of mine is fond of quoting old Chinese proverbs saying, “if, and only when, you are ready the right teacher will be presented to you.” My quandary is often I find that I am presented with teachers, and consequently their lessons, that I am not ready to learn. The universe thereby responding by presenting the lesson again and again in some sort of karmic Groundhogs' Day forcing me to re-live similar situations with the same results over and over.

per·se·ver·ance [pur-suh-veer-uhns] 

noun

1. Steady persistence in a course of action, a purpose, a state, etc., especially in spite of difficulties, obstacles, or discouragement.

2. Continuance in a state of grace to the end.

It would be fair if you were to say that I was a runaway. I have been known to, without much warning, hightail it out of there, and run from any given perceivable to me difficult situation, be it a less than fabulous job, not-so-great relationship, home, etc. You name it, I have quit it.

When I first met my husband 15 years ago I had been in just such a situation where everything that could have, did go wrong; people died, I was shot at, I was homeless (or would have been had it not been for the beautiful angel who let me sleep on her couch), and I was out of money. I had told him that I was buggin' out and goin' home, explaining that there was a very fine line between the Gods testing you, and the Gods sending you clear as a neon sign message that you have made the wrong f*cking choice somewhere along the line and it is time to turn the hell back.

And so my lesson has always been: how do you know where that line is? How do you know the difference between a situation that requires perseverance and the realization that as the Turkish would say “no matter how far you have gone down the wrong road, turn back.”

It is interesting to me that as I looked up the definition of the the word for the purpose of writing this post a second definition was offered. Perhaps I have been asking the wrong question? Perhaps whether or not I can endure is not in question, but maybe the lesson that I have been missing is not just getting through it, but continuance in a state of grace until the end...

I would like to thank my husband for not letting me run away 15 years ago, and if you ever find yourself in the lush mountain top town of Monteverde in Costa Rica do yourself a favor and look up the amazing Karen Gordon at Revive Healing Arts Studio (http://www.facebook.com/Revive.KarenGordon).

Livin' La Vida Loca

The unlikely yogi, Ricky Martin said, “It is useless to label things as either good or bad. The key is to see everything as a lesson.”

This morning I received news and I find it a difficult effort to not put a label on it. The reality is that I am no worse off than I was before the news and while the news was not exactly what I wanted to hear it is in fact a step in the right direction. I had been expecting this news, or rather some news, and I had tried not to have expectations regarding the news but I would be lying if I said that I didn't have high hopes for the news.

So, what was the lesson, you ask? Well, I haven't figured that part out yet. For now I’m gonna go dance around my living room to some live Ricky Martin tracks and see if he has any other words of wisdom to impart!

Mirror, Mirror!

Of all of the lessons that I am learning from tea cups, tarot cards, horoscopes and Buddha quotin' yoga teachers, the one lesson that seems to constantly allude me, is patience. And while I will admit that I am WORLDS better than I used to be, (before living on Tico Time) I still find impatience rearing her ugly head up into the middle of my tranquil yogic life. What is it with instant gratification that we find so, well... gratifying? And not only is it my own impatience that I find to be frustrating, but nothing, and I mean NOTHING, bothers me more than the impatience of others! What is that saying about seeing clearly the faults in others that we don't like about ourselves? Or as a dear friend and old boss of mine used to say “Spot it? Got it!”

Oddly enough idle empty time or what I like to call “the art of doing jack-shit” has no ill effect on me. I can laze around all day, in a hammock, curled in bed with a book, watching complete seasons of a mini-series... you get the point, but just as soon as you add to that equation the idea that I am waiting for something the art is lost and all that is left is the frantic wondering of the when if and how the thing that I am waiting for is going to occur!

My friend Impatience is not pretty or well behaved. And she makes the poor habit of hanging out with the likes of Dependency, Addiction, Vanity, Jealousy, Judgment and Desire; the Seven Dwarfs of my personality. No matter how I strive the be the Fairest Behaved of All these hoodlums just wont seem to leave me alone. They have bullied me into nurturing, caring and feeding them, and they never fail to leave me in their wake with their mess to pick up. Not even my Prince Charming can rescue me from my short-comings, him being one of those frustrating impatient types, no- this is a job for the Evil Queen, ironically enough. Don't look so surprised, she's not really evil, just miss-understood. I mean really, all that “mirror mirror on the wall” stuff was just a metaphor for self reflection.

And so I take my cue from the Queen and look into the magic mirror, also known as, still water: We cannot see our reflection in running water. It is only in still water that we can see... ~Taoist Proverb.

The Queen teaches me that this waiting time is a blessing, it provides for me the opportunity to learn and grow, to know myself and the Seven Dwarfs better. Perhaps one day I may master the art of waiting, in the meantime I can at least let that trouble-making-no-friend-of-mine know that I am not allowed to play with her until she can behave better!

Take Your Medicine

I have a friend, a fellow yoga teacher, who always says, “yoga is medicine”. But when you are sick the last thing you want is to choke down some cherry or grape flavored spoon full of elixir; and yet just as your mother knew best and forced it down your throat when you needed it most, I am here to tell you that when you don't feel like going to yoga class is when you need it most and even if you feel like you are forcing it down, it will make you feel better.

It is hard to imagine that breathing in, breathing out, bending, twisting, folding, breathing some more, holding chair pose, hows your breathing?, oh my god are we still holding chair?, keep breathing, don't bite your lip!, really! we are still holding chair!?, don't forget to breathe, and Thank GOD! he finally said forward fold... inhale... exhale... could be medicine, but like my favorite yoga teacher says (usually right before asking me to do some Cirque de Sole pose) “imagine the possibilities”. Imagine if you could let all that was bothering you before class roll off of you like sweat on to your mat. Imagine if you could feel the sensation of the burning in your thighs and without making a judgment about it just be. Imagine if you could let go of all that you think you can or can't do and come into crow without fear. And if you could do all of that for the 90 minutes that you spend on your mat, imagine what that could mean for your life when you step off of it.

So, go take your medicine!

Nutty Methods

I have taken to reading my horoscope at the end of the day as to not be influenced by what I may find there. Often times I find that for me, reflection is more valuable than anticipation...

Besides, “There are many methods for predicting the future. For example, you can read horoscopes, tea leaves, tarot cards, or crystal balls. Collectively, these methods are known as "nutty methods." Or you can put well-researched facts into sophisticated computer models, more commonly referred to as "a complete waste of time.” ~ Scott Adams.

And “The best way to predict the future is to invent it.” ~ Alan Kay.

but I do read it, being the sucker for good news and motivation that I am.  This is why I love fortune cookies and Yogi Tea. 

There is value in taking note of the planetary alignment.  It is not a good idea to start new projects when the moon is void and when Mercury is in retrograde, however it is also important to remember that the only thing that can trump the stars is human will.  At the end of the day responsibility falls on us.  One cannot simply say that the stars made them do it.  Rather, we should try to succeed even if the stars tell us that it is unlikely.

Once in a Blue Moon

Tonight marks the second full moon with in this calender month, a Blue Moon. The last time there were two full moons in one month was March 2010 and the next will not be until July 2015, hence the saying: “once in a Blue Moon”. I cannot but help to be reflective of the things that have occurred in my life since the last blue moon and to be hopeful for the next.

So let's look back, March 2010: I retired from a career in Management, I went abroad, learned a new skill (graduated from massage school), moved back to this country, got married, and learned another new skill (participated in a Yoga Teacher Training course). How did I fit all of that into a little over two years!?!

Remember when you were a child and you could not imagine the passing of months let alone years. How a week could seem like an eternity and a whole day could contain a lifetime. Now that we are adults with careers and families and responsibilities time flies as if we were immortal and the passing of a year were but a nanosecond in our endless lives. But our lives are not endless, they are finite. The Blue Moon teaches us to look at the passing of time, reminding us of how much life we could fit into an hour, a minute, or a second. If there is something that you can do today, do it. Do not think that there will be more time for that tomorrow because as we know: Beautiful Tomorrow Never Comes! When It Comes, Its Already TODAY! In The Search For Beautiful Tomorrow, DON’T Lose Your Wonderful TODAY!…….. if you cannot put the whole puzzle together today, take just a minute to piece together a corner of the big picture. Do it! Do not put it off! If you can do this small thing each day then before you realize it you will have a clear view of the accomplished goal!

The next Blue Moon will be in about three years. Will you be right where you are now, waiting for tomorrow? Or will you have a list of things you have accomplished? I have an overwhelming list of things I would like to cross off, a bucket list of sorts, we will call it the Blue Moon list, Things-to-do-Before-the-Next-Blue-Moon, and it would be easy to say that there is plenty of time, that I will start tomorrow, but I remind myself about tomorrow and look for something that I can do today that might bring the picture in to focus, one piece at a time.

*note:  prior to the calender as we now know it, the Blue Moon was marked by the occurrence of four full moons with in a single season, I believe the Farmer's Almanac still uses this method.  

*"tomorrow" quote is by an unknown author.

Advice

“To look in the cup three or four times a day, as some silly folk do, is simply to ask for contradictory manifestation and consequent bewilderment, and is symptomatic of the idle, empty, bemused minds that prompt to such ill-advised conduct.” ~ Tea-Cup Reading and Fortune-Telling by Tea Leaves by a Highland Seer

This is not unlike asking a friend for advice; advice being what I like to call “what you ask for when you already know the answer but wish you didn't”; and when your friend's advice did not meet with what you wanted to hear, but rather what you needed to hear, you carried on and asked your next friend and so on until you should come across that one that would validate your poor decision. Or rather like shaking the Magic 8 Ball again and again until finally the “right” answer presented itself.

The Seer reminds us that it is best to ask the question you wish to know the answer to only once, accepting the reading as it pertains to the relevant factors of the current situation. If and only when the current situation has changed is it then appropriate to re-address your question to the universe. Just as if when ordering a new book thru amazon.com you wouldn't keep ordering the book again and again until one came, you would acknowledge your confirmation receipt and go about your businesses, likely forgetting all about your book until one day, as prophesied, it arrives at your door (often a day or two early to your delight!).

I have placed my order. I long to sit in front of a crystal ball and ask again and again what will happen, but rather than counting on hocus pocus I must apply some practical magic to the situation. So instead of reading tea leaves I have been reading “how to start a business” articles and taking free internet classes on “how to write a business plan”. I have been researching grant and loan options and day dreaming over commercial space listings on craigslist. Now a days I ask my business counselor for guidance rather than “advice”.

And because a little abracadabra couldn't hurt, I shuffle the cards and ask, what steps toward my goal can I take today?

Tassology

Tassology is the science, or art, of fortune telling by reading the sediments of tea leaves found at the bottom of a tea cup. While I may not actually believe in the outcome of a reading in the same way I would say, believe that the world is round and at this moment I may actually be hanging upside down in the universe and the only thing keeping me on the planet is that it is spinning really fast and instead of flinging me off of it or tossing me this way or that like the Mad Tea Party Ride at Disneyland is that this spinning and rotating is what is keeping us, well, grounded, I do believe that there is such a thing as a really good cup of tea; and that while drinking said cup of tea it is possible that one might find enough peace in that moment to find inspiration or come to a realization of a solution to a problem that had been previously perplexing and troublesome to the drinker; and if as meditating over the swirling of tea sediments in the bottom of my cup a certain intuition should come over me I would believe in that vision, no matter if it should seem as absurd as swinging upside down from a spinning globe.

It was during one such reverie that I decided I should like to work in, no -- own and operate a Tea Shop. And so the idea for Tassology Tea was brewed. The cup did not offer any advice as to how I would develop funding for this endeavor or how I would go about becoming a first time business owner but I thought of all of the women that I know who have their own business and I find that often their humble beginnings were not so different than mine. I have worked as an Operations Manager for the better part of my career literally “operating” the businesses owned by others, surely I have derived enough knowledge in this life to embark on this path. One of my favorite quotes I read in a book by Brigid Lowry about how to become a writer is “in this moment I know everything there is to know about publishing a book, and whatever I don't know I can ask”... or something like that. I like to rearrange the words to be applicable to any situation and I do that here and now, I know everything there is to know about starting a business and for everything that I do not know I need only to ask.

In addition to quirky tales about life lessons learned from Tea Cups, Tarot Cards, Horoscopes and Buddha Quotin' Yoga Teachers... The following pages of this blog will be about how I generated the money, information and support I needed to make the successful Tassology Tea ~ a Cafe, Yoga Space, Massage Studio, Music Venue and Art Gallery. I would like to thank all of the people who helped make this dream a reality and supported me on this path and welcome any comments or advice you may have that may help me bring my prophesy to fruition.  

I thought yoga was stupid...

How I came to the yoga mat the first time is a sad story. I have talked to many yogi's who have similar tales of woe that left them searching for something, something that might heal, something that would give strength or peace. Perhaps this is even your story. 

I grew up in the fitness industry. My father taught group fitness classes and participated in Reebok National Aerobic Championships. I started “body-building” in high school, my fitness goals at the time: look like Linda Hamilton in Terminator 2 and bench my body weight. It would be a long time until I could bench my body weight, but I have done it... once. At the time I weighed 122 lbs. 

As for looking like Linda Hamilton I would soon have another goal, compete in a Fitness America Competition. I qualified for nationals with my first try and even got to be on TV. The ESPN coverage of the show gave me a lot of screen time (I just happened to be the same height as the girl who won... I came in 48th). As the sport developed and became less of the pageantry that the Fitness America cooperation made it and more a division of the NPC/IFBB Body-Building Association I too developed and continued to compete. I competed off and on for 10 years earning pretty collection of trophies...

Professionally this would lead me to become the Operations Manager of a Big-Name fitness facility. This would be my first introduction to yoga. I thought it was stupid. Over and over I had to remind the class participants that they could not walk throughout the gym floor bare-foot, and I never saw anyone in a Yoga class who looked more fit than me. What did I need to stretch for I could already touch my toes...

Eventually judging politics would lead me to no longer compete on a stage and I took to training to beat the clock. For the fist time ever I started to run. I was in my early thirties and I decided that I would run a marathon. This is right around the time that the sad story starts. I'll skip it for now but I had found myself motionless and hiding under a blanket in my Arizona apartment for a period 3 straight weeks. I literally HURT from not moving. I decided I did need to stretch and so I found a yoga class on you-tube... thus started my healing.

I would not do yoga again for sometime but that you-tube class would become the catalyst for me moving to Costa Rica and going to Massage School. My next intro to Yoga would be from one of my massage professors who lead us in a short practice before class each morning. After this experience it is any wonder that I would still want to practice. Even tho I was a beginning yogi I was an advanced athlete and so the poses came easily to me. One day as I was deepening my pose to get a better stretch than was instructed, there was a challenge and a stare down and then the announcement that if I did not want to do the pose EXACTLY the way he taught it I could take Savasana, in other words: his way or dead. I still thought yoga was stupid.

Another of my massage professors told me that she saw me teaching yoga one day. She was a dread-locked hippie and such premonitions were common for her. I thought she was insane... One year later:  I was enrolled in Yoga Teacher Training.

After finishing Massage School I lived in a small beach village in Costa Rica until I ran out of money. Having no access to anything that might resemble a gym, I took to the road; to recover from running, I did yoga. I discovered iTunes yoga class pod-casts and practiced on the beach...

And now... I get it.

I didn't realize it at the time but that you-tube video saved my life. Yoga saved my life... And now I teach it so that everyone else with their sad stories can find something that heals, or gives strength or peace.

I currently reside in Tampa, Florida and practice and teach yoga at Jai Dee Yoga, but I still do pod-casts on the beach...